Friday, July 8, 2011

The Voice in my Head

One thing I have noticed about myself since I have been on this quest is that I tend to not push myself like I should when it comes to working out…cardio specifically. I can do weight training all day because I LOVE IT, but when it comes to something that pushes me beyond my comfort zone, I seem to give in faster than I would under normal circumstances.

Let’s talk about exercise: It’s been a little over a month since I started my exercise routine. I started my cardio routines at 10-15 minutes and as soon as I started to feel the burn in my muscles, my mind would tell me to stop. I spent most of the time looking at the timer on the machine to see how much longer I had to go…9 times out of 10, I never completed the full session. I am now up to 30 mins of cardio and although I have forced myself not to quit before my time is up, I constantly battle with that little voice in my head that nudges me to hit the stop button.

Let’s talk about life: Looking back, I can see how this voice in my head has played a major role in the way I progressed. I have been through many hard things in life and was able to endure; but there have been many other things that were challenging in my life that I gave up too easily on. As soon as I met resistance, I would slow down or stop completely.

As I have gotten older, I have gone back and saw to completion many of the things that I gave up on in the past. At this point, all I am left to tackle and conquer is my weight. I don’t know why this voice encourages me to stop and give up, but at times it does. Since I’ve started this quest 30 days ago, the voice seems to have gotten louder. I am learning to recognize the voice and more importantly to push past it. There are times when I am huffing and puffing on the elliptical and I’m on the last 5 minutes of my workout that I have to talk myself out of hitting that stop button. I haven’t deduced what gives the voice life, but I think it’s a combination of insecurity, fear and a little bit of uncertainty all blended together. My goal is to silence this loud voice in my head and ultimately find the small still voice that is buried somewhere in my head that will encourage me to push myself and go for the gusto!

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