Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Why the Weight?

Do you know why you are fat? I know why I am fat...

I have been overweight my entire adult life and honestly, the weight has became a part of who I am. I have lived with it and I have organized myself so that I fit into the fat and the fat fits into my life. Now let's get this clear: I am not one of those bleeding heart fat gals who has some sob story as to why they gained weight. I didn't eat because I was depressed. I didn't eat because I had some catastrophe happen in my life. I ate because I simply like to eat.

Food is magic to me! It tastes good and there are so many things that can be done with something as simple as cheese that makes sparks fly when I think about it. I am not a major junk food eater: save a few bags of Doritos, white cheddar popcorn and a few Mountain Dew's. I am a female carnivore...beef is my best friend. Fried chicken and I have had a long time love affair going on. Potatoes: in all variations make me smile. Simply put...I LOVE TO EAT FOOD!

My love for eating got way outta control and I ballooned up to 295 pounds. 295 pounds on a 5'5 female frame is insane, but because I carry my weight well (so I have been told) most people wouldn't guess that I weigh as much as I really do. This little tidbit is what I have clung to in order to justify my weight...and thats just sad. I have given my life over to eating. On shopping trips with friends for example, food must be a part of the excursion. At work, I have a lunch buddy (who is severely overweight) and almost everyday we find some type of calorie laden food to have for lunch. When I think about that now, it saddens me. No one should arrange their life around food...its too limiting and restrictive.

I will be 40 years old in 2 years and I don't want to carry this extra weight into the next stage of my life. My reinvention started with changing my eating habits from trashy eating to cleaner eating. In addition to the clean eating, reinvention further takes shape for me with a realistic exercise routine.
I'd be lying if I said I was not scared, so I wont say that. What I will say is that I am afraid of this reinvention, but at the same time there is some excitement. I have never doubted my ability to do anything, I have been guilty of being lazy and unmotivated, but the ability to accomplish this task remains.

I recognize that this will be a lifestyle change for me. I am not DIETING! I am changing the way I live and eat for the long haul.

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